Service

The best way to get over feeling sorry for yourself is to serve others.

http://www.choosetodoright.com/

Judging right and wrong

The easiest way to judge between right and wrong is to assess the potential consequences of our choices and behavior. We should also examine whether our values, standards, and beliefs are causing the consequences we want in our lives.

http://www.choosetodoright.com/

A Clean Conscience

Our conscience is like a mirror in which our soul reflects upon itself and weighs what it sees against the highest standard of reality we perceive. And, much like any mirror, this reflection will become more realistic and clearer when we clean it. When we eliminate the blemishes caused by our past atrocities (along with their excuses and justifications) we enable ourselves to recognize reality and see things more clearly. Not only do we increase our ability to realistically judge between wrong and right, but we also augment our human capacity to be emotionally guided by this judgment.

http://www.choosetodoright.com/

Our Conscience

I believe that as human beings we are innately moral creatures. Most of us have the internal ability to judge between right and wrong, good and bad. And, we have the capacity to be emotionally guided by this judgment. We have a conscience. However, listening to our conscience requires effort and sacrifice. It requires choosing to pay attention.

Reaching Goals

We should always focus on the little steps that are necessary to achieve our goals and struggle to build a successful life like we would a house - one brick at a time.

http://www.choosetodoright.com/

Using today to create our future

Our life is transitory. Eventually, the day will come when it is no longer full of possibilities and potential, but only memories. Thus, we must learn to view the present, the here and now, as the time to make the most of our opportunities, strive towards our potential, and build a meaningful life. Today is the day that we create our memories and shape the legacy we will eventually leave behind. The legacy which, for good or bad, will be our eternal mark on posterity and will determine how we will be remembered, and how we will spend the rest of eternity.

http://www.choosetodoright.com/

The key to making good decisions

When we judge others, we should pretend that we are the ones who are being judged. Only then will we be able to judge fairly. When we buy we should imagine that we are the seller, and when we sell we should perceive ourselves as the buyer. Then we can buy and sell with integrity. When we are offended, we should imagine that we are the offender and when we hurt someone, we should envision ourselves as the ones being hurt. Only then can we show true mercy and sincere sorrow.


http://www.choosetodoright.com/

Personal Success

We simply cannot say YES to happiness and success unless we first say NO to all the things which could cause us to be unhappy and unsuccessful.


http://www.choosetodoright.com/

The momentum of our choices

It is important to recognize how our thoughts, choices, and actions flow over time to create the circumstances and momentum of our lives. Step by step as we proceed through life, our choices actually compound themselves by bringing about the situations and circumstances which require the next choice. Then, with each successive choice, we create the conditions surrounding further choices. So with each choice, we initiate or sustain a momentum in our lives, a momentum going forward or in reverse. And once we get the momentum going in either direction, it becomes more and more difficult to stop. Thus, one irresponsible choice can cause us to be faced with another, even more difficult choice that we may not have confronted had we simply made the proper choice in the first place.

http://www.choosetodoright.com/

Lame Excuses

At some point in all our lives, this victim perspective has surfaced in order to excuse and justify our irresponsible and criminal behavior - especially after we have been caught. Many of us contend that we committed our crimes because of:


• drugs

• a drug addiction

• the people we hung around with

• our race

• our socioeconomic standing

• a lack of education

• our family life

• society in general

• and even the victim


And most of us have complained at some point that we are in prison because someone snitched on us, we were set up, or the system screwed us. Indeed, we have used almost every form of self-deceit and deception to maintain our unrealistic self-image and hide from the reality of the fact that we are who we are, and where we are, because of choices we have made.

In essence, what we are telling ourselves when we maintain a victim perspective is that we don’t have total control over our own lives. Therefore, when we fail or get caught, we don’t have to personally accept the full responsibility for our own choices or the consequences which are simply the result of these choices. With a victim perspective, our self-image doesn’t suffer when we fail or are not perfect. In reality, however, this unrealistic perspective and the excuses it provokes are simply cop-outs that we use to justify a lack of effort and an unwillingness to follow the rules or take responsibility for our own lives.

Yet, even though these excuses and the victim perspective serve to diminish the control we have over our own lives, they in no way absolve us of responsibility for the consequences of our choices and behavior. Sadly, by convincing ourselves that we are the victims, we actually perpetuate our criminality, because we excuse and justify our criminal behavior. We erroneously convince ourselves that we are exonerated of responsibility for our behavior. So, we are able to forego the feelings of guilt, remorse, and sorrow that would force us to recognize and confront our criminal behavior and compel us to change.

http://www.choosetodoright.com/

Self Criticism

Some of the time, hearing the truth about ourselves isn’t easy. Like any medicine intended to cure, criticism can be hard to swallow. But despite its undesirable taste, criticism can help set us straight. However, in order to be of any use to us, criticism from others must first be transformed into self-criticism and then followed by an active effort to correct whatever was criticized. Realistically, self-criticism is required to generate the inner drive and desire necessary to initiate and sustain the effort and sacrifice required to change and grow.

http://www.choosetodoright.com/

Justifying Our Behavior

When analyzing our thinking and behavior, it is very important to pay attention to our intentions and motives. The reasons for our thoughts and behavior can be more important than the consequences of the behavior. We shouldn’t ever allow ourselves to judge our thinking based on the outcome of our behavior. By doing this, we may simply be concealing latent errors in our thinking and perception through justifications.


For example, if we decide to lie and call in sick to work because we would rather do something else more exciting, and then during our day off we discover that we have many productive things to do, we cannot excuse or justify our decision to call in sick to work simply because the day ended up being productive. In order to truly recognize and overcome our errors in thinking, we must analyze, question, and correct the thoughts that gave rise to our decision to call in sick. In this case, the decision was full of errors in thinking and perception, such as:



• failure to fulfill obligations to our employer

• failure to exert effort in responsible initiatives

• unwillingness to overcome boredom and routine

• seeking excitement

• inability to delay gratification until the weekend



Additionally, the decision was dangerous because it could have led to idle time and complacency, two things that have the potential to result in irresponsible behavior and crime.

Irresponsible thoughts and behaviors can often result in desirable consequences and, if we are lucky, few negative consequences. However, this doesn’t mean that these thoughts and behaviors are proper, realistic or responsible. When we think and behave irresponsibly, we are not consciously causing the consequences we want in life. We are shooting blindly and hoping we hit the target, and eventually we are going to miss - big time.

On the other hand, responsible thoughts and their resultant behaviors can easily bring unintended or unforeseen consequences. But this, too, doesn’t change the fact that the thought itself was responsibly directed towards our purpose. And even though we may miss our target from time to time, when our thoughts are properly focused, we are more likely to cause the consequences we want in our life.

 
http://www.choosetodoright.com/

Believe in yourself

To be successful, I feel that it is important to maintain the mindset that success is possible. We must believe in ourselves. Despair and doubt are the enemies of change. Although we should always remember the shame and suffering which our irresponsible behavior has caused, we must learn to visualize ourselves as being truly honest and responsible people. We should imagine ourselves changing and maintaining a totally responsible and purposeful way of life each and every day - and then we should persistently struggle towards this goal one step at a time.


Realistically, living a responsible and productive life is a very achievable goal. However, it will require time, effort, and determination to achieve - and then to maintain. We can change our patterns of thinking and reprogram our subconscious mind if we make the conscious effort to do so, but we must also be aware that this won’t happen overnight.

http://www.choosetodoright.com/

Overcoming Addiction

Overcoming my drug addiction was very difficult. In fact I relapsed several times before I figured out what I was doing wrong. But, once I discovered the right tools I was able to break free of my addictions. As I point out in my book, it is impossible to overcome a drug addiction through sheer willpower.


"Trying to overcome an urge to use drugs through willpower alone is not enough. Instead of continuing to think of drugs as enjoyable, exciting, and “not that big of a deal”, we should actually seek out and consciously stay aware of all the realities which contradict these errors in thinking. We may begin with the fact that drugs are illegal and thus can cause further legal problems, and the pain and sorrow associated with losing our freedom and being separated from the ones we love. Next, we could acknowledge the fact that drugs are harmful to the body and the mind, and curse everyone who touches them. They:

• diminish our ability to properly focus our conscious awareness

• distort reality

• decrease our productivity

• reduce our coordination

• lead to health problems

• waste money, time and potential

• reduce the amount of control we have over ourselves and our lives

• lower our inhibitions - leading to immorality, irresponsibility, and crime
Finally, as we continue to search reality, we will inevitably realize that not only do we hurt ourselves with drugs, but we also hurt all of those around us, especially the ones we profess to love.

Armed with these newfound realities to consistently correct our thinking, our point of view and attitude towards drugs will soon change. Instead of secretly desiring to use drugs and then, when the thoughts arise, simply trying to fight them through willpower alone, we will begin to abhor drugs and despise even the thought of them. Instead of envying the drug user who isn’t being deterred from using drugs, we will pity them. We will begin to think of, and perceive, drugs realistically as the evil they are instead of continuing to be fooled by their charm."

http://www.choosetodoright.com/

Choices create a momentum in our lives

The more right choices we make, the more habitual it becomes to make right choices. On the other hand, the more wrong choices we make, the easier it becomes to make the wrong choices.

http://www.choosetodoright.com/

Education and job skills training in prison is only part of the solution

Although educational, vocational, and drug/alcohol abuse programs all play an important role in criminal rehabilitation, they are secondary to the development of personal character. No matter how skillful or brilliant we are, we cannot be successful if we lack integrity, self-control, self-esteem, and empathy for others. It is impossible for us to grow through deceit and insincerity. A fundamentally flawed character can only lead to distorted thoughts and perceptions. Thoughts and perceptions that then lead to irresponsible behavior.

Current educational and vocational programs offered to criminals lack the basics required to help us lead a responsible life. Solely educating a criminal will only result in an educated criminal – not a changed criminal. These programs simply do not provide the knowledge or demand the intensity of focus or conviction necessary for the enormous amount of change required. We may gain skills and knowledge, but if we retain our errors in thinking and perception, we will remain fundamentally flawed.