March 29, 2010

The Consequences of Lying

Regardless of the reason, every time we lie it has a tremendous impact on our self-esteem. Lies serve to undermine our confidence and tarnish the relationship we have with ourselves. As much as we may try, we simply cannot exempt ourselves from the knowledge of right and wrong, or from the moral consequences of our actions. Although we may try to conceal our dishonesty, at some level it inevitably influences us. Our thoughts, choices, and actions always leave either positive or negative feelings about ourselves. Even though we may try to conceal our lies from others and downplay their effect on our self-esteem, we can never really hide them from ourselves.

As Nathanial Branden explains in his book The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem:
"One of the great self deceptions is to tell oneself, “Only I will know.” The implication is that my judgment is unimportant and that only the judgment of others counts. But when it comes to matters of self-esteem, I have more to fear from my own judgment than from anyone else’s. In the inner courtroom of my mind, mine is the only judgment that counts. My ego, the “I” at the center of my consciousness, is the judge from whom there is no escape. I can avoid people who have learned the humiliating truth about me. I cannot avoid myself."

When we lie, cheat or steal, we create a reputation with ourselves as a liar, cheater or thief. And no matter what others may think about us, we can’t hide the truth from ourselves. With each lie, we solidify the reputation with ourselves as liars. So, even if we forget the content of our lies, we remain a liar as far as our inner-self is concerned. And because deep down we already see ourselves as liars, we are more likely to lie in the future.

http://www.choosetodoright.com/

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