Justifying Our Behavior

When analyzing our thinking and behavior, it is very important to pay attention to our intentions and motives. The reasons for our thoughts and behavior can be more important than the consequences of the behavior. We shouldn’t ever allow ourselves to judge our thinking based on the outcome of our behavior. By doing this, we may simply be concealing latent errors in our thinking and perception through justifications.


For example, if we decide to lie and call in sick to work because we would rather do something else more exciting, and then during our day off we discover that we have many productive things to do, we cannot excuse or justify our decision to call in sick to work simply because the day ended up being productive. In order to truly recognize and overcome our errors in thinking, we must analyze, question, and correct the thoughts that gave rise to our decision to call in sick. In this case, the decision was full of errors in thinking and perception, such as:



• failure to fulfill obligations to our employer

• failure to exert effort in responsible initiatives

• unwillingness to overcome boredom and routine

• seeking excitement

• inability to delay gratification until the weekend



Additionally, the decision was dangerous because it could have led to idle time and complacency, two things that have the potential to result in irresponsible behavior and crime.

Irresponsible thoughts and behaviors can often result in desirable consequences and, if we are lucky, few negative consequences. However, this doesn’t mean that these thoughts and behaviors are proper, realistic or responsible. When we think and behave irresponsibly, we are not consciously causing the consequences we want in life. We are shooting blindly and hoping we hit the target, and eventually we are going to miss - big time.

On the other hand, responsible thoughts and their resultant behaviors can easily bring unintended or unforeseen consequences. But this, too, doesn’t change the fact that the thought itself was responsibly directed towards our purpose. And even though we may miss our target from time to time, when our thoughts are properly focused, we are more likely to cause the consequences we want in our life.

 
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Questioning Our Thoughts

Another important step in learning to think more responsibly is to develop our ability to ask questions about our own thinking and the thinking of others. "The ability to ask appropriate and penetrating questions is one of the most powerful thinking tools we possess, although many of us do not make full use of it." (Covey, Stephen R., “THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE - POWERFUL LESSONS IN PERSONAL CHANGE” (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1989))

Through consistent practice and mental exercise, we should learn to habitually ask ourselves questions, such as:


• Are my thoughts consistent with my purpose?


• Are they realistic?


• Are they productive?


• What are the possible consequences of this type of thinking?


• What is the basis for my thoughts - what provoked my current thinking?


• Am I actively controlling my own thoughts? Or, am I still allowing other variables, such as my feelings, my subconscious programming, the circumstances, or other people’s words and behavior, to control them?


• Are there any similarities or relationships between my current thinking and my thought patterns in the past?


• Can I speculate on the possible consequences of this type of thinking?


• How should I be directing my thinking - what should I be thinking about or focusing on right now in order to be successful?

In order to become effective in improving our thought processes, this type of mental questioning should be consistently exercised and valued as a discipline. It should be used repeatedly so that it becomes a habitual part of our thought patterns. At every opportunity we should question ourselves about our thinking with an open mind and an honest heart, so that we can make sure that our thoughts are always focused in the right direction.


 
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Believe in yourself

To be successful, I feel that it is important to maintain the mindset that success is possible. We must believe in ourselves. Despair and doubt are the enemies of change. Although we should always remember the shame and suffering which our irresponsible behavior has caused, we must learn to visualize ourselves as being truly honest and responsible people. We should imagine ourselves changing and maintaining a totally responsible and purposeful way of life each and every day - and then we should persistently struggle towards this goal one step at a time.


Realistically, living a responsible and productive life is a very achievable goal. However, it will require time, effort, and determination to achieve - and then to maintain. We can change our patterns of thinking and reprogram our subconscious mind if we make the conscious effort to do so, but we must also be aware that this won’t happen overnight.

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Overcoming Addiction

Overcoming my drug addiction was very difficult. In fact I relapsed several times before I figured out what I was doing wrong. But, once I discovered the right tools I was able to break free of my addictions. As I point out in my book, it is impossible to overcome a drug addiction through sheer willpower.


"Trying to overcome an urge to use drugs through willpower alone is not enough. Instead of continuing to think of drugs as enjoyable, exciting, and “not that big of a deal”, we should actually seek out and consciously stay aware of all the realities which contradict these errors in thinking. We may begin with the fact that drugs are illegal and thus can cause further legal problems, and the pain and sorrow associated with losing our freedom and being separated from the ones we love. Next, we could acknowledge the fact that drugs are harmful to the body and the mind, and curse everyone who touches them. They:

• diminish our ability to properly focus our conscious awareness

• distort reality

• decrease our productivity

• reduce our coordination

• lead to health problems

• waste money, time and potential

• reduce the amount of control we have over ourselves and our lives

• lower our inhibitions - leading to immorality, irresponsibility, and crime
Finally, as we continue to search reality, we will inevitably realize that not only do we hurt ourselves with drugs, but we also hurt all of those around us, especially the ones we profess to love.

Armed with these newfound realities to consistently correct our thinking, our point of view and attitude towards drugs will soon change. Instead of secretly desiring to use drugs and then, when the thoughts arise, simply trying to fight them through willpower alone, we will begin to abhor drugs and despise even the thought of them. Instead of envying the drug user who isn’t being deterred from using drugs, we will pity them. We will begin to think of, and perceive, drugs realistically as the evil they are instead of continuing to be fooled by their charm."

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Preparation

The next step, as we grow and develop in a responsible way of life, is to learn to be proactive and preempt irresponsible thinking before it ever happens. To do this we must learn to recognize all the situations and environments which may lead to irresponsible thoughts, and then avoid them. We can also prepare ourselves by thinking through difficult situations and deciding beforehand how we plan to think and act if, and when, any of these situations come up.

Through preparation, we gain more control over our thinking. And when a difficult situation does arise, we will be ready to make the right choice instead of simply allowing our old, ineffective subconscious programming to shape and guide our lives.

http://www.choosetodoright.com/

Controlling our thinking

It can be extremely helpful to develop and continually use specific visualizations, ideas, thoughts, affirmations, or even childhood songs in order to help us redirect our thinking and replace irresponsible or criminal thoughts. When confronted with inappropriate thoughts, we can then use these replacements to automatically refocus our conscious thinking. We may choose to visualize ourselves responsibly achieving some long term goal, or to automatically think about our mother, our family, or God. We may even choose to personally create some positive affirmation - a statement such as, “I am a responsible individual and when I control my thinking, I control my life” - which is in line with reality, the principles of change, and our purpose in life. However, in order for these things to become fully effective in redirecting our thinking and reprogramming our subconscious mind, they must become automatic deterrents to irresponsible thinking - they must be programmed into our subconscious mind through repetition and become habits themselves.

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Our Rose Garden

Reprogramming our subconscious mind through positive thinking is much like growing a prized rose garden. Not only must we continually care for and nurture our roses, or responsible thoughts, but we must also ceaselessly struggle to remove all of the weeds, or irresponsible thoughts and errors in thinking. If we don’t, then they have the inherent potential to rapidly grow, choke out our roses, and infest the whole garden. Soon, what may have simply begun as one or two small weeds can, if neglected, grow and multiply. If we are not careful, this can undermine all of our efforts at reprogramming our mind and developing a new perspective on life. When our garden is infested with weeds, it tends to distort our whole perspective on life. It is only when our rose garden is flourishing and consciously being cared for that we can maintain a responsible and realistic perspective.

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Re-programming our Subconscious Mind

Because of our human abilities of self-awareness and self-examination, we are not simply the sum of our past thoughts, feelings and perceptions. We are not limited to, or bound by, our subconscious programming. We have the ability to stand apart from ourselves, examine our programming, and use our conscious awareness, imagination, and limitless potential in order to develop a new perspective on life. We can form new attitudes, beliefs and values. We can create new habits that are more positive and productive. We can think about our thinking, have feelings about our feelings, and even develop a perception of our own perceptions, but only if that is what we consciously want to do. We can only override all of the negative things stored in our subconscious mind, and rewrite our programming, if we make the consistent effort necessary in order to responsibly control our thinking.


As with any computer, the output of our subconscious mind will always equal its input. Thus, it is critical that we become extremely careful of what we allow ourselves to consciously think or fantasize about. Because it is our conscious input that will actually write or program the influential output of our subconscious mind. Personally, I have even gone as far as to quit listening to any music which may have any irresponsible, immoral, or criminal lyrics - or which causes me to think or feel this way. And I have begun listening to more uplifting music. I don’t watch any television shows or movies that may promote irresponsible or criminal thinking. I also refuse to talk or listen to anyone whose vocabulary consists mainly of four-letter words. And I don’t hang around anyone who suggests irresponsible or criminal behavior. I simply do not want to think about these things. I have a tough enough time without someone planting these thoughts in my head.

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Our Subconscious Mind

Within each of us there is an infinite and powerful subconscious mind that quietly guides our thinking and perceptions. Our attitude, character, beliefs, values, habits, perceptions and many other personal traits are influenced by the lifelong programming of our subconscious mind. Like the operating system on a computer, it defines who we are and how we deal with the outside world.


It is also the gatekeeper of our conscious awareness. Through the reticular activating system, it filters through all of our incoming sensory information and determines what, from the vast amount of possible information, will be permitted into the light of our conscious awareness. It is simply impossible for us to focus on everything that we see and hear in a given moment. It is our subconscious mind that helps us decide what is important for us to perceive and what is not. Thus, it quietly guides our thoughts, perceptions and behaviors.

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