February 28, 2010
Commitment
Once we have accepted our weaknesses and acknowledged a need to change, the next step is to make the commitment to do anything, and everything, necessary to change. If we want to be successful, we can’t go into this half-heartedly; we must be willing to do whatever it takes. This entails not only making the commitment to ourselves, but also to other people in our lives who can help us stay focused.
February 27, 2010
Taking Responsibility
Our first major step towards change involves reviewing our life’s choices and their consequences. We must admit to ourselves that we are a criminal – we are guilty of committing a crime – and that we need to change. Certainly, there may have been times when we’ve acted responsibly and honestly. And even times when we have been very helpful and loving. However, these positive instances do not, and cannot, make up for the damage done by even one criminal or irresponsible act.
Few of us are willing to admit that there may be something wrong with us. We feel that it is a sign of weakness to do so. Even while sitting in a prison cell, I didn’t view myself as a criminal or a threat to society. I saw others as the real criminals. Guys that were in prison for murder and rape – those were the real criminals. I convinced myself that my property crimes and drug offenses weren’t violent, and that nobody really got hurt. I told myself that I was basically a good person who had just made a mistake.
The failure to accept that we are criminals and admit that we need to change can be one of the biggest obstacles to overcome. Almost every criminal has an excuse for his or her criminal and irresponsible behavior. Some claim that they are the victim of a racist or corrupt system. Others blame drugs, the people they hung around with, their childhood, or even the victims themselves. Many of us hearken back all the good things we have ever done and believe that this somehow atones for our mistakes. Or, we self-righteously list all the crimes that we would never commit, while overlooking the pain and suffering we have already caused. Yet, “until a person can say deeply and honestly ‘I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday’ that person cannot say, ‘I choose otherwise’.”
Much of the time, we’re not the only ones who downplay the impact of our actions. Often family and friends will unintentionally deny our need to change by maintaining that we just made a mistake. They blame our actions on our friends, on drugs, or on some other scapegoat. Although this may be comforting for everyone, it can be harmful if it prevents us from acknowledging our need to change.
Certainly, not everyone in prison is a criminal - and not all criminals are in prison. However, if you have committed a crime and making mistakes has become a pattern in your life, then you are a criminal and you need to figure out what is wrong.
Few of us are willing to admit that there may be something wrong with us. We feel that it is a sign of weakness to do so. Even while sitting in a prison cell, I didn’t view myself as a criminal or a threat to society. I saw others as the real criminals. Guys that were in prison for murder and rape – those were the real criminals. I convinced myself that my property crimes and drug offenses weren’t violent, and that nobody really got hurt. I told myself that I was basically a good person who had just made a mistake.
The failure to accept that we are criminals and admit that we need to change can be one of the biggest obstacles to overcome. Almost every criminal has an excuse for his or her criminal and irresponsible behavior. Some claim that they are the victim of a racist or corrupt system. Others blame drugs, the people they hung around with, their childhood, or even the victims themselves. Many of us hearken back all the good things we have ever done and believe that this somehow atones for our mistakes. Or, we self-righteously list all the crimes that we would never commit, while overlooking the pain and suffering we have already caused. Yet, “until a person can say deeply and honestly ‘I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday’ that person cannot say, ‘I choose otherwise’.”
Much of the time, we’re not the only ones who downplay the impact of our actions. Often family and friends will unintentionally deny our need to change by maintaining that we just made a mistake. They blame our actions on our friends, on drugs, or on some other scapegoat. Although this may be comforting for everyone, it can be harmful if it prevents us from acknowledging our need to change.
Certainly, not everyone in prison is a criminal - and not all criminals are in prison. However, if you have committed a crime and making mistakes has become a pattern in your life, then you are a criminal and you need to figure out what is wrong.
February 26, 2010
Just do it!!
The choice to live responsibly is only the first of an infinite series of choices. Realistically, the decision to live responsibly must be made again and again, each day, with each choice we make. This is not easy. However, most of us are very stubborn when it comes to getting what we want. There isn’t much we can’t do when we set our minds to it. Thus, if we can simply focus this passion and single-mindedness away from irresponsible and criminal activities and toward responsible living, we are bound to succeed.
February 25, 2010
Do Something
Although most guys leave prison with the intention of never returning, the high recidivism rates prove them wrong. The fact is that no true change can ever happen without the proper focus, effort and endurance. No one is going to eliminate a lifetime of irresponsible thoughts and behaviors overnight. True change doesn’t happen magically – it requires you to do something.
February 24, 2010
Complete and Total Change
The first time I was released from prison, I didn’t think there was a need for a complete and total change. I believed that dabbling with irresponsibility was acceptable as long as I didn’t cross the line. I could drink and party as long as I didn’t do any “heavy drugs”. I could lie and cheat at work as long as I didn’t do anything that I could get arrested for.
However, I now realize that whenever I allow myself to start acting irresponsibly, I always end up crossing that line. That is just the way I am. One irresponsible act always leads to another even more irresponsible act. Step-by-step my behavior snowballs and it becomes harder and harder to control myself. As time passes, I want to do something a little more exciting and a little more daring. I want more risk and more “fun”. And, eventually I lose sight of reality.
In this regard, I am much like the alcoholic who only intends to have one drink, but ends up losing control and getting drunk. Certainly, some men and women can think and act irresponsibly at times and yet never cross the line. Or if they do, they can pull themselves back and regain control. However, some of us cannot. Just as an alcoholic can never take the first drink, we cannot allow ourselves the first irresponsible act.
However, I now realize that whenever I allow myself to start acting irresponsibly, I always end up crossing that line. That is just the way I am. One irresponsible act always leads to another even more irresponsible act. Step-by-step my behavior snowballs and it becomes harder and harder to control myself. As time passes, I want to do something a little more exciting and a little more daring. I want more risk and more “fun”. And, eventually I lose sight of reality.
In this regard, I am much like the alcoholic who only intends to have one drink, but ends up losing control and getting drunk. Certainly, some men and women can think and act irresponsibly at times and yet never cross the line. Or if they do, they can pull themselves back and regain control. However, some of us cannot. Just as an alcoholic can never take the first drink, we cannot allow ourselves the first irresponsible act.
February 23, 2010
Becoming part of the solution
I have often heard that taking responsibility is the key to finding a solution. I would like to take this one step further: taking responsibility is also the key to creating a solution. Rather than simply accepting the consequences of our behavior, taking responsibility for our life means actively using our abilities of examination and imagination to create the consequences we want in our life. Living responsibly entails taking control of our life by choosing to respond to all of the challenges we face in a manner that is directed by our purpose, our goals, and the reality of our situation. With each choice we make, we create our own consequences and we create our own opportunities.
February 22, 2010
Education and job skills training in prison is only part of the solution
Although educational, vocational, and drug/alcohol abuse programs all play an important role in criminal rehabilitation, they are secondary to the development of personal character. No matter how skillful or brilliant we are, we cannot be successful if we lack integrity, self-control, self-esteem, and empathy for others. It is impossible for us to grow through deceit and insincerity. A fundamentally flawed character can only lead to distorted thoughts and perceptions. Thoughts and perceptions that then lead to irresponsible behavior.
Current educational and vocational programs offered to criminals lack the basics required to help us lead a responsible life. Solely educating a criminal will only result in an educated criminal – not a changed criminal. These programs simply do not provide the knowledge or demand the intensity of focus or conviction necessary for the enormous amount of change required. We may gain skills and knowledge, but if we retain our errors in thinking and perception, we will remain fundamentally flawed.
Current educational and vocational programs offered to criminals lack the basics required to help us lead a responsible life. Solely educating a criminal will only result in an educated criminal – not a changed criminal. These programs simply do not provide the knowledge or demand the intensity of focus or conviction necessary for the enormous amount of change required. We may gain skills and knowledge, but if we retain our errors in thinking and perception, we will remain fundamentally flawed.
February 21, 2010
The Decision to Change
I can still remember the day that I decided to do whatever it took to change and turn my life around. I was sitting in a prison cell in Appleton Minnesota and the reality of my situation hit me like a freight train. I started to cry. I just couldn't believe that my life had ended up the way it had. And, I was scared that I had dug a hole so deep for myself that there was no chance of redemption.
My wife had left me and I had just returned from the funeral service of a good freind who had passed away from spinal meningitus at the age of 23. I remember thinking how fragile life was, and feelng an extreem sorrow and shame for how my life had turned out. I knew that I had to do something - or nothing was ever going to change. So, I resolved to do whatever it took to get my life back on track.
Yet, even as I made this promise to myself I realized that I had made this resolution to change many times in the past - usually the result of being caught and punished. However, in the past, this desire to change would usually fade quickly and the vicious cycle would start over. One tiny irresponsible act would lead to another. Each act would become a little more irresponsible until eventually I was back doing the same things as before – or even worse. It was as if I were challenging the fates to bring me down. When they didn’t, I rejoiced in my shrewdness. However, this short-lived merriment always ended with the painful slap of reality once I got caught…and resolved to change again.
It is hardly surprising that every guy in prison that I talked to was caught in a similar vicious cycle. We had vowed to change at some point in our lives, only to revert back to our criminal ways. We would tell ourselves that we would never again use drugs, steal or hurt others. But, we did. None of us ever wanted to be arrested or return to prison. But, we did. We all wanted to be successful, important, and in control. We wanted to make our friends and families proud. But all we ever seemed to do was cause them pain and suffering.
My wife had left me and I had just returned from the funeral service of a good freind who had passed away from spinal meningitus at the age of 23. I remember thinking how fragile life was, and feelng an extreem sorrow and shame for how my life had turned out. I knew that I had to do something - or nothing was ever going to change. So, I resolved to do whatever it took to get my life back on track.
Yet, even as I made this promise to myself I realized that I had made this resolution to change many times in the past - usually the result of being caught and punished. However, in the past, this desire to change would usually fade quickly and the vicious cycle would start over. One tiny irresponsible act would lead to another. Each act would become a little more irresponsible until eventually I was back doing the same things as before – or even worse. It was as if I were challenging the fates to bring me down. When they didn’t, I rejoiced in my shrewdness. However, this short-lived merriment always ended with the painful slap of reality once I got caught…and resolved to change again.
It is hardly surprising that every guy in prison that I talked to was caught in a similar vicious cycle. We had vowed to change at some point in our lives, only to revert back to our criminal ways. We would tell ourselves that we would never again use drugs, steal or hurt others. But, we did. None of us ever wanted to be arrested or return to prison. But, we did. We all wanted to be successful, important, and in control. We wanted to make our friends and families proud. But all we ever seemed to do was cause them pain and suffering.
A proven path to Criminal Rehabilitation - Success through responsible living
Is someone you love in Prison...or headed there?
Are they making poor choices and decisions?
Are they unhappy with the way their life is turning out?
My name is Andrew Matson. In 1991 I was convicted of burglary and theft and sentenced to 30 years in prison as a Habitual Criminal. For most people this would be the end of the story, but for me it was just the beginning.
While sitting alone in a prison cell I realized that unless I did something to turn my life around that nothing was ever going to change. I decided then that I wanted much more out of life than “3 hot’s and a cot” in a prison cell so I set out on a journey of discovery and change.
Some may say that people can’t change, but I know firsthand that they can. Miracles can happen with the right focus and the right tools. Throughout a journey that has spanned over two decades I have discovered the keys necessary to turn my life around and become a successful contributing member of society.
Over the years I kept a record of my journey and wrote down everything that I discovered about myself and the men that I spent time with in prison. This journal became the foundation of my book “Choose to do Right – A proven path to criminal rehabilitation”. My book outlines over 40 different errors in thinking and perception that lead to irresponsible behavior and crime. This life changing book also provides strategies and suggestions for overcoming these errors in thinking and perception, leading to a more responsible and productive life. My goal is to help people change the basic paradigms through which they see the world and enable them see themselves and the world around them from a more responsible perspective. I am living proof that the principles and concepts surrounding this paradigm shift can work.
During my incarceration I was blessed with the opportunity to participate in some programs (“Project Tomorrow” and “Shape-Up”) in which I was able to work with at risk youth and experience the inner joy and satisfaction that can come from helping others. This experience helped me to define my purpose and to discover my calling in life. My dream is to help others avoid making the same mistakes that I made, and to help give them the tools necessary to turn their lives around and be happy and successful. By helping others make responsible decisions, I feel that not only can I add meaning and purpose to my life, but also help to keep myself properly focused on living responsibly.
In my 15 years in prison I never meet anyone who wanted to spend their life in prison. Every prisoner had the desire to get out and stay out. However, as recidivism rates sadly show, most of them do return to prison. This isn’t due to a lack of desire. Nobody wants to be in prison. It is simply due to the fact that these people don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to be successful once they get out. They are not prepared to live responsibly.
Since my release in 2003, I have graduated form the University of Colorado with a degree in Psychology, worked my way up the corporate ladder to become Vice President of a multi-national company, served in a variety of volunteer positions in my church and in the community, and been a productive member of society. I currently live with my wife and 4 children in Parker Colorado and continue to be successful as I apply the principles of responsible living in my own life.
There is hope – people can turn their lives around and become successful!! And with over 7.3 million people currently in the prison system in the US according to the Denver Post (Denver Post, Tuesday March 3, 2009, pg. 6A) there are many people who could benefit from my book. Almost 19 years ago I was convicted as a Habitual criminal. If I can turn my life around, anyone can do it. Using the strategies and tools that are outlined in my book anyone can turn their lives around and become a successful, productive member of society. For anyone who has ever had a problem with making the wrong choices and decisions in any aspect of their lives, this book is a must read!!
For more information about me or my book please visit my website http://www.choosetodoright.com/
Are they making poor choices and decisions?
Are they unhappy with the way their life is turning out?
My name is Andrew Matson. In 1991 I was convicted of burglary and theft and sentenced to 30 years in prison as a Habitual Criminal. For most people this would be the end of the story, but for me it was just the beginning.
While sitting alone in a prison cell I realized that unless I did something to turn my life around that nothing was ever going to change. I decided then that I wanted much more out of life than “3 hot’s and a cot” in a prison cell so I set out on a journey of discovery and change.
Some may say that people can’t change, but I know firsthand that they can. Miracles can happen with the right focus and the right tools. Throughout a journey that has spanned over two decades I have discovered the keys necessary to turn my life around and become a successful contributing member of society.
Over the years I kept a record of my journey and wrote down everything that I discovered about myself and the men that I spent time with in prison. This journal became the foundation of my book “Choose to do Right – A proven path to criminal rehabilitation”. My book outlines over 40 different errors in thinking and perception that lead to irresponsible behavior and crime. This life changing book also provides strategies and suggestions for overcoming these errors in thinking and perception, leading to a more responsible and productive life. My goal is to help people change the basic paradigms through which they see the world and enable them see themselves and the world around them from a more responsible perspective. I am living proof that the principles and concepts surrounding this paradigm shift can work.
During my incarceration I was blessed with the opportunity to participate in some programs (“Project Tomorrow” and “Shape-Up”) in which I was able to work with at risk youth and experience the inner joy and satisfaction that can come from helping others. This experience helped me to define my purpose and to discover my calling in life. My dream is to help others avoid making the same mistakes that I made, and to help give them the tools necessary to turn their lives around and be happy and successful. By helping others make responsible decisions, I feel that not only can I add meaning and purpose to my life, but also help to keep myself properly focused on living responsibly.
In my 15 years in prison I never meet anyone who wanted to spend their life in prison. Every prisoner had the desire to get out and stay out. However, as recidivism rates sadly show, most of them do return to prison. This isn’t due to a lack of desire. Nobody wants to be in prison. It is simply due to the fact that these people don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to be successful once they get out. They are not prepared to live responsibly.
Since my release in 2003, I have graduated form the University of Colorado with a degree in Psychology, worked my way up the corporate ladder to become Vice President of a multi-national company, served in a variety of volunteer positions in my church and in the community, and been a productive member of society. I currently live with my wife and 4 children in Parker Colorado and continue to be successful as I apply the principles of responsible living in my own life.
There is hope – people can turn their lives around and become successful!! And with over 7.3 million people currently in the prison system in the US according to the Denver Post (Denver Post, Tuesday March 3, 2009, pg. 6A) there are many people who could benefit from my book. Almost 19 years ago I was convicted as a Habitual criminal. If I can turn my life around, anyone can do it. Using the strategies and tools that are outlined in my book anyone can turn their lives around and become a successful, productive member of society. For anyone who has ever had a problem with making the wrong choices and decisions in any aspect of their lives, this book is a must read!!
For more information about me or my book please visit my website http://www.choosetodoright.com/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
