Taking Responsibility

Our first major step towards change involves reviewing our life’s choices and their consequences. We must admit to ourselves that we are a criminal – we are guilty of committing a crime – and that we need to change. Certainly, there may have been times when we’ve acted responsibly and honestly. And even times when we have been very helpful and loving. However, these positive instances do not, and cannot, make up for the damage done by even one criminal or irresponsible act.


Few of us are willing to admit that there may be something wrong with us. We feel that it is a sign of weakness to do so. Even while sitting in a prison cell, I didn’t view myself as a criminal or a threat to society. I saw others as the real criminals. Guys that were in prison for murder and rape – those were the real criminals. I convinced myself that my property crimes and drug offenses weren’t violent, and that nobody really got hurt. I told myself that I was basically a good person who had just made a mistake.

The failure to accept that we are criminals and admit that we need to change can be one of the biggest obstacles to overcome. Almost every criminal has an excuse for his or her criminal and irresponsible behavior. Some claim that they are the victim of a racist or corrupt system. Others blame drugs, the people they hung around with, their childhood, or even the victims themselves. Many of us hearken back all the good things we have ever done and believe that this somehow atones for our mistakes. Or, we self-righteously list all the crimes that we would never commit, while overlooking the pain and suffering we have already caused. Yet, “until a person can say deeply and honestly ‘I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday’ that person cannot say, ‘I choose otherwise’.”

Much of the time, we’re not the only ones who downplay the impact of our actions. Often family and friends will unintentionally deny our need to change by maintaining that we just made a mistake. They blame our actions on our friends, on drugs, or on some other scapegoat. Although this may be comforting for everyone, it can be harmful if it prevents us from acknowledging our need to change.

Certainly, not everyone in prison is a criminal - and not all criminals are in prison. However, if you have committed a crime and making mistakes has become a pattern in your life, then you are a criminal and you need to figure out what is wrong.